Skinnydipping
by BonnieD
Summary: Seth and Ryan lose their clothes and try to get home. Written for the TWoP "naked" hiatus challenge.


"Skinnydipping" PG13  
  
Written for the TWoP "naked" hiatus challenge. Ryan and Seth lose their clothes.  
  
I don't know the topography of the California coastline so I had to picture Sleeping Bear Dunes here in Michigan where you can walk miles over sand and scrub to reach Lake Michigan. Let's pretend Seth and Ryan are in a state park of some kind that just happens to be near Newport, shall we? And while we're at it let's pretend Kirsten and Sandy finally bought the boys a used car to tool around in, okay? This takes place in some happy time when both couples are together and not in the middle of crisis and it's summer. Just enjoy the slapstick romp and don't worry about the lapses in logic and the inconsistent choices the boys make.

* * *

"I don't care, Ryan, it's HOT!" Seth said, unbuckling his belt and pulling down his jeans. "We've hiked for, like, two hours and it must be one hundred and twenty degrees." He looked up the beach both ways. "Besides, it's deserted here. No one is going to suddenly show up."  
  
Ryan sighed and kicked off his shoes. "I could care less about being seen. What I'm worried about is swimming in an undesignated area. There could be an undertow or...." he searched for a possible danger.  
  
"Sharks?" Seth offered, removing his T-shirt, which he had been wearing on his head to protect himself from sunstroke.  
  
"Yeah, sharks," Ryan said, rolling his eyes. He sighed and stripped off the rest of his clothes, folding them and laying them in a neat pile. He knew Seth would go in the water with or without him so he might as well prepare to swim. Nothing deterred Seth once he had an idea in mind.  
  
Seth glanced over at Ryan then did a double take as he realized his friend was totally in the buff. He looked down at his own checked boxers. "Uh, I thought...." he began.  
  
"What?" Ryan was already testing the water with one foot. He glanced over his shoulder.  
  
Seth gestured toward Ryan's naked ass then to his own clothed shanks. "I thought we were going to wear...."  
  
Ryan shook his head. "I'm not walking all the way back in soaked underwear." He turned toward the surf and waded in.  
  
Seth waited another moment, but he was hot, sticky and dehydrated, and it had, after all been his idea to swim. He carefully slipped his underpants off and ran into the water. His clothes were left scattered across the sand, wherever he had dropped them.  
  
Ryan seemed to forget his reservations once he hit the water and soon both boys were diving under, swimming races to a nearby rock, dunking each other and happily splashing around.  
  
It didn't take long to cool down in the icy waters of the Pacific. Seth had just erupted from a dead man's float to begin stroking toward the beach with Ryan following behind him when a voice called out, "Hey, losers!"  
  
Seth stopped swimming and bobbed in place like a cork, looking toward shore. Ryan, swimming with his eyes closed and arms churning, plowed into Seth's back and knocked him sideways. They both regained balance, coughing and sputtering and hovered in place, treading water. "What the hell?" Ryan began, wiping a hand over his eyes to clear them and frowning at Seth.  
  
"Nice underwear," the voice called.  
  
Seth and Ryan looked up. On the beach was a pack of four little boys gathering up the last of the Cohen and Atwood clothing and tearing off down the beach with it, screaming with laughter.  
  
The kid with Seth's checked boxers waving from his hand like a race flag was the last to go. "Suckers!!!" he yelled as he raced away, sand flying up from his heels.  
  
"Crap!" Seth exclaimed in counterpoint to Ryan's hissed, "Shit!"  
  
Ryan began to breaststroke toward shore as fast as he could go. Seth followed.  
  
When they emerged dripping from the surf, there was no sign of the little kids farther down the beach. They must have taken a path up into the dunes. Seth and Ryan stood open mouthed and gasping for breath from their intense swim looking at the long stretch of empty seashore.  
  
"I can't believe this," Ryan snapped. "Come on. We have to go after them." He started to jog along the trail of footprints in the sand.  
  
"We'll never catch up," Seth said, trotting beside him. "They have too big a head start."  
  
Ryan cast him a sideways glare. "You got a better idea?"  
  
"Well, we can't go running down the beach like this. We're naked. Naked! Without any clothes whatsoever. If you'd listened to me we would have at least had our underwear on." Seth's complaints came in jagged little bursts as he tried to run and talk at the same time.  
  
"And if you'd listened to me, we would have had ALL our clothes on," Ryan retorted.  
  
They ran on.  
  
Seth grabbed tortured gasps of air. His thumping heart and screaming muscles proclaimed their dissatisfaction at being suddenly expected to swim and run instead of rest quietly in front of a television. He lagged farther and farther behind Ryan until he finally came to a stop, hunched over, hands on knees, panting for breath.  
  
When he straightened up, Ryan had stopped too, several yards ahead and was gazing at a rough trail that led up the hill. He started to climb.  
  
"Ryan. No." Seth took a look at Ryan's well-defined thigh muscles bunching as he scrambled, bent over, up the steep slope, grabbing for handholds of brush to keep his balance. Then he looked at his own skinny, white bird legs, and he knew that this was not going to happen. "Hey!" he called. "Give it up, man. They're gone."  
  
Ryan lost purchase in the shifting sand and slipped back a few feet, going down on one knee. He stopped climbing and looked down at Seth.  
  
Seth put out his hands, palms up. "They're gone," he repeated. "We're never gonna catch them. We've gotta try something else."  
  
"What do you suggest," Ryan asked in disgust, as he descended the incline in big, lurching bounds.  
  
Seth thought for a moment while Ryan completed his descent and walked across the sand toward him. "Okay. It's a beach, right? You walk either way and you're eventually going to come to some kind of civilization; sunbathers, tourists or what have you. There's gotta be like condos and cottages all over the place." Seth made a sweeping gesture with his arm to illustrate the point. "So we, uh, find somebody, explain our predicament, hopefully borrow something to cover our nakedness and a cell phone to call home and have dad come pick us up. He brings us clothes and the extra set of keys for the car and drives us back to where we parked. Viola! End of an embarrassing incident and we have an amusing story to relate to the grand kids some day."  
  
Ryan looked doubtful but nodded his agreement. "Okay."  
  
"So, since we've already been that way," Seth pointed behind them, "and we know Newport Beach is somewhere that way," he gestured ahead, "we should probably keep going forward."  
  
Ryan began trudging doggedly in the direction Seth indicated and his friend fell in step beside him. "God, I'm thirsty. Aren't you thirsty?" Seth asked. He tilted his head sideways and shook it. "And I think I have water in my ear. I wonder if I'll get an infection. I know I'll have a burn. I can feel it on my shoulders and across my nose already. Also, my feet feel like...."  
  
"Don't start. Just walk," Ryan ordered.  
  
"Yes, Herr Capitan."  
  
A half-mile later they came to an outcropping of rock and when they rounded it were met with signs of human life; steps zigzagging up the face of the hill and perched at the top was a many-windowed, white beach house.  
  
"We're saved!" Seth breathed a sigh of relief. "Now we just have to ask for help." He looked at Ryan, who was red-faced, his hair plastered down with sweat, and his skin rapidly beginning to look like a rosy sunset. "When we get up there, I think you should be the one to go to the door. You look much more presentable than I do."  
  
"Really." Ryan gave Skeptical Face, which was somehow a lot less effective when he was nude. Seth clapped a hand on his shoulder.  
  
"It's all on you, buddy. I know you can handle it."  
  
Ryan shook off his hand and started toward the stairs.  
  
By the time they reached the top, Seth's head was pounding. He was sure he would collapse soon from heat exhaustion and dehydration. He'd been thirsty even before they started on the nature hike from hell.  
  
At the top of the steps was a stone-paved patio scattered with deck chairs and pots of flowers. There was no sign of life but they could hear a little girl's voice singing at the top of her lungs in the back yard. Ryan and Seth followed the sound. They stood among the bushes at the side of the house and watched a five or six year old girl, who was playing in her sandbox with earthmoving equipment and several Barbies. Apparently Barbie ran a construction company and was designing a road, a castle and a moat.  
  
"Go on, Ryan," Seth hissed in his ear, pushing him in the back. "Ask if her mommy's at home."  
  
"No!" Ryan whispered back. "I am not going to scar that little kid for life."  
  
"Here." After a little struggle, Seth snapped a branch off one of the bushes. "Cover yourself with this."  
  
Ryan looked doubtfully at the prickly branch but he placed it in front of his groin.  
  
"Okay. Good." Before Ryan had a chance to argue further, Seth pushed him out of the cover of the bushes. He stumbled, regained his balance and froze. The child stopped singing and let out a little surprised, 'Oh!' at the sight of the naked young man in her yard. For a full four seconds they stared at each other wide-eyed.  
  
"Uh, hi," Ryan finally managed with a wide, fake smile meant to reassure her. "Is ... is your, um, mom at home?"  
  
The little girl stared at him for another few seconds, a Barbie clutched in one hand and a dump truck in the other, and then she opened her mouth. "Debbieeeeeeee!" she shrieked at a pitch that could make eardrums bleed.  
  
"No. No. It's okay." Ryan lifted his hands in what was intended to be a calming, non-threatening gesture of surrender. Unfortunately, he forgot what his makeshift 'fig leaf' was covering and gave the poor kid a flash of full frontal.  
  
She stood up, dropped her toys and began to run toward the slider door still screaming.  
  
"What? Megan, are you okay?" The glass door slid open and a young girl of thirteen or so appeared. "You'd better not be screaming when there's nothing wrong again or I'm so gonna tell mom." She stopped short, staring open-mouthed at naked Ryan. Simultaneously, little Megan barreled into her, grabbing her around the waist.  
  
Before Ryan could say anything or begin to explain, the teen peeled her little sister from her and thrust her inside the house, followed her and slammed the door shut, locking it behind them.  
  
"Wait. I...." Ryan tried to explain.  
  
"I'm calling 911!" Debbie yelled through the glass.  
  
Meanwhile, Seth realized things were falling apart so he came charging out of the bushes to help explain. "You don't understand...." he began.  
  
The teen screamed and ran for the phone. Little Megan stayed, faced pressed against the door, staring at the two naked boys like they were an exhibit at the zoo.  
  
Seth covered his crotch with one hand and, walking up to the door, tapped on the glass with the other. "We just need some help," he shouted. He could see Debbie across the kitchen, phone in hand, looking back at him. "We had a problem and.... Hey, could you put that down please? Don't call the cops. This is all a misunderstanding."  
  
"They're on their way, you sicko pervs!" the girl cried, coming back over and pulling her little sister away from the glass.  
  
"Seth, I think we better just go," Ryan was urging.  
  
The girl drew the blinds across the wide expanse of door, effectively shutting them out, while Seth kept arguing and attempting to tell their story.  
  
"I think we should go now," Ryan repeated, tugging on Seth's arm.  
  
"No. We haven't done anything wrong," Seth argued. "We can just wait here. Explain everything to the cops and then call dad. Or maybe the cops will give us a ride home. I've always wanted to ride in a squad car."  
  
"No cops." Ryan was adamant. "I don't need one more thing on my record, not even something as ridiculous as this."  
  
Seth scoffed. "They're hardly going to charge us for having our clothes stolen. I mean...."  
  
"Indecent exposure, Seth," Ryan interrupted. "It's a crime. Not to mention the trespassing. Now, come on!" He turned and ran through the side yard and into a stand of trees.  
  
"Where are we going?" Seth asked, as he followed panting behind.  
  
"They'd find us right away on the beach," Ryan said, threading his way through the trees. "Besides, there must be more houses up here. We can try again – after we get out of this area."  
  
"Yeah. About that. Maybe you'd better let me talk next time, okay?" Seth didn't have to see Ryan's face to know he was glaring.  
  
Just then Ryan stopped suddenly and Seth, who was wiping sweat out of his eyes, ran into him.  
  
"What?"  
  
"House." Ryan pointed through the trees. He began approaching it slowly, trying not to make noise. Seth thought about Indians in the movies, who could track anything by the bend of a fern and could move through forests soundlessly as the fog. As Ryan let go of a branch and it slapped him across the face, Seth decided it was a load of bullshit and had never happened in real Indian life.  
  
Ryan stopped again and Seth came up beside him, rubbing his stinging cheek. "Jackpot!" he breathed. Hanging on the railing of the deck at the back of the house was a collection of colorful beach towels.  
  
"No going to the door and trying to explain this time," Ryan said. "Snatch and run."  
  
"Okay," Seth agreed. "Shall we go on the count of three? I'll count it. One...."  
  
Ryan was already running across the patch of lawn to the edge of the deck. He paused, grabbed a blue and purple towel with palm trees and one decorated with Shrek's grinning mug and pulled. They fell easily off the railing into his hands and he kept right on running through a flower garden and back into the woods again. So it was Seth, lagging as usual, who was caught in plain sight in the middle of the grass when a man rose, dripping from the hot tub on the deck and started yelling.  
  
"Hey! Come back here. What the hell...?"  
  
Seth ignored the stitch in his side and ran harder, following Ryan into the shelter of another stand of trees. This one was thinner than the last and they soon emerged on a private drive on the other side. Ryan turned to make sure Seth was still with him and threw the Shrek towel to him. "Come on. We've got to get out away from this neighborhood."  
  
Seth caught the towel and followed Ryan without question. Their legs and arms pumped and they flew down the hot pavement. Seth heard the sound of an approaching siren from somewhere ahead of them. Ryan must have heard it at the same time, because he darted into the yard at his left, glancing over his shoulder to make sure Seth still followed. The boys dropped down behind a large flowering bush just as a police car turned from a main route onto the road they had just vacated.  
  
"Wow. Quick response," Seth muttered, watching the car fly past their hiding place, siren blaring. The squad car disappeared around a curve and Ryan rose, ready to run again.  
  
"Wait. Wait a minute, man. Let me catch my breath," Seth begged. He was flopped on his side on the ground, hugging his Shrek towel to his chest, which was heaving as he struggled to draw breath. "Just," he held up a finger, "for a second."  
  
"Sorry, Seth. No time," Ryan said and hauled him to his feet by one arm. "When we get out of here."  
  
As a concession to Seth's exhausted state, they trotted more slowly down the private drive to the main road. Behind the sign that proclaimed this neighborhood, "Crofter's Vista", they paused long enough to dress in their stolen beach towels. Seth couldn't help sneaking a quick peak at Ryan's equipment before they covered up. He told himself it was a guy thing to want to contrast and compare, and there had hardly been time to take a gander in the last hectic hour. He was pleased to note that Ryan was no better endowed than himself since it seemed that Ryan was somehow larger than life in most ways.  
  
"You couldn't have picked the orange and yellow one with the sunset?" Seth asked as he wrapped Shrek's grinning face around himself and securely tucked in the corner of the towel at his waist.  
  
Ryan smiled faintly as he fastened the palm tree towel around his hips. "There wasn't exactly time to shop."  
  
"You know, some little kid is probably going to be crying tonight because you took his or her favorite beach towel. You should be ashamed."  
  
Ryan didn't answer and led the way down to the road. It was a lot harder walking in bare feet on the pebbled asphalt surface than on the soft sand of the beach. Seth was maliciously pleased that even Ryan was beginning to limp. Sometimes it seemed that stoic, relentless Ryan was a kind of superman and while Seth admired that, occasionally it irritated the hell out him.  
  
They turned at the next road they came to, determined to lose themselves in a labyrinth of streets so the cops wouldn't find them. Although how hard could it be, really, to track two half naked boys clad only in beach towels?  
  
They were soon passing by houses again and Seth was anxious to try to beg aid, but Ryan was nervous after their failed first attempt.  
  
"No one is going to let us in," he said.  
  
"They don't have to. We just have to convince someone to place the call for us then wait outside in their yard until dad comes."  
  
"I don't know." Ryan hedged. "Your dad is going to be so pissed that we lost the car keys, the cell phone and both of our wallets. Maybe we should just try to get home on our own."  
  
"All the way to Newport Beach? Are you insane? Besides, he's going to find out about all of it sooner or later anyway. We have to stop our credit cards, replace our licenses, and cancel the service on my cell phone. It's not like we can keep it a secret."  
  
"God, your dad is going to be pissed," Ryan reiterated. "We've only taken the car out, like, twice since we got it and already we've lost the keys."  
  
"He won't be mad," Seth insisted. "I mean, yeah he'll be annoyed, but it wasn't really our fault so we won't get in trouble." He looked over at Ryan curiously and noted the slight worried frown knitting his brows. It suddenly reminded him that Ryan's past consisted of irrational, semi- alcoholic adults who consistently over-reacted to situations and often in a violent way. What must it have been like to grow up around people who ignored a transgression one day and whipped your ass for the same offense another time? You would never know what to expect.  
  
Seth felt his heart swell with sympathy and a strong protective urge. "Hey. Don't worry, man. Really. Dad and mom will be cool with this. Well, maybe not exactly cool with it, but they'll understand. It'll be okay. It's no big deal, trust me."  
  
Ryan nodded and the frown smoothed out of his forehead so Seth figured he must be comforted. Despite Ryan's laid-back persona, Seth had come to realize he was pretty uptight underneath.  
  
Unfortunately, Seth's plan of approaching one of the houses they passed was a bust. Absolutely no one appeared to be home. Seth was about ready to sit down on the front steps of any one of these places and start bawling and stay there until someone finally came home and called his parents and fed him some iced tea and a big dinner while he waited for them to pick him up. He was pitifully exhausted.  
  
But if Ryan could keep walking, so could Seth. He plodded mournfully behind his friend without looking up.  
  
They trudged in the direction that looked most likely to take them toward stores and fast food restaurants, anywhere they could find a phone and beg a couple quarters off someone to make a call home.  
  
Finally, miraculously, they did reach a commercial district and the first business they came to was a convenience store. Seth felt like one of those survivors staggering in from the desert in a movie. He rushed ahead of Ryan and pushed through the door into blessedly frigid air conditioning. He wanted to fall to his knees and kiss the dirty linoleum. Ryan entered the store behind him.  
  
"Hey. Can't you read?" The middle-aged clerk at the counter glowered at them.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Go back outside and read the sign on the door," he demanded, smoothing his hand reflexively across his comb-over. "No shoes, no shirt ... no service. Now get out."  
  
"Listen, mister," Seth begged, stumbling toward the counter. "You don't understand. We've been stranded without...."  
  
"I said, get out! You look like bums."  
  
"If you'd just listen to him," Ryan began, his voice taking on that aggressive tone that sounded like trouble.  
  
"We were on the beach and someone took our...." Seth continued.  
  
"I don't care. Get out of my store."  
  
"Hey!" Ryan snapped roughly. "We're not hurting anybody. We just need some help."  
  
Crossing the already bad-tempered clerk was not a bright idea. "Listen, I can have the cops here in about two minutes if I press this button. And if I choose to tell 'em you were shoplifting in my store, who do you think they're gonna believe?"  
  
Seth's mouth fell open in shock. How had they moved from oasis of rescue to threat of detention in less then a minute?  
  
The clerk folded his arms across his chest and smirked. "No shirt. No shoes. NO service!" He jerked his head toward the door.  
  
Seth glanced at Ryan who looked like he wanted to rush the clerk and pound the snot out of him but instead backed up a step, then turned and walked quietly out of the store.  
  
Seth had to try one more time. "Sir. If you would just let me call my dad, I'm sure he could reimburse you for...."  
  
"OUT! It's the last time I'm telling you." The man reached threateningly for the infamous button-under-the-counter.  
  
The last thing Seth heard as he exited the store was a muttered, "Punks!"  
  
"Now that was insane!" he exclaimed to Ryan when he got outside. "That guy's a raving psycho. Where's Abu when you need him?"  
  
Ryan ignored him. He was busy slamming his fist into the soft drink machine by the side of the building.  
  
"What are you...?" Seth began.  
  
"You're thirsty, right? I'm getting you something to drink," Ryan answered calmly, as he drove his bare shoulder hard into the front of the machine.  
  
"Uh, Ryan, that doesn't really work. Only on TV shows and besides, do you really want to make that guy any madder than he already is?"  
  
A 7-Up fell down to the dispenser and Ryan picked it up and tossed it to Seth, who stared at the beautiful, green can like it was divine nectar. Condensation was already beading on the smooth metal surface. Seth pressed it against his cheek and closed his eyes. Liquid. Lovely liquid. He popped the tab and took a long swallow before handing the can to Ryan. "Thanks!"  
  
Ryan drank quickly then passed it back to Seth. "Come on. We'd better go."  
  
Seth was rejuvenated by the sugar rush and felt more himself as he followed along after Ryan again. "You know, my people spent years wandering through the desert looking for the Promised Land. I think I finally understand my forefathers' pain. We're never going to actually get home again are we? If we had ruby shoes, now that would...."  
  
"Save your energy, Seth. Less talk more walk."  
  
Seth subsided into silence but kept up a running commentary in his head, which was almost as amusing. The walking had become so mechanical he could set his legs moving and not even think about them now. He was like the Energizer Bunny and would just keep walking until they reached home or he fell over, legs still churning uselessly.  
  
"Hey, Ryan," he called out after a while because it was physically painful for him to keep silent too long. "Those little kids got your wrist cuff too, didn't they? That's like, a symbol of you. How are you gonna know who you are without it?"  
  
"They took the watch your dad gave me, too," Ryan added, and Seth detected a note of sadness in his voice so he jogged up beside him to catch a glimpse of his face.  
  
"We can get you another. No big," he assured.  
  
Ryan shrugged, and then Seth understood that it wasn't the watch, but the sentimental attachment that mattered. Again he felt a pang of empathy for Ryan's vulnerable streak, which was easy to miss if you didn't know him well, but was laid out like an open book for an astute friend like Seth.  
  
"Have you ever considered a trademark hat?" Seth tried to lighten the mood. "That could be your new thing. Or hats, multiple. Like Blossom."  
  
Ryan frowned quizzically. "Blossom?"  
  
"It was a show." Seth looked embarrassed. "And I was, like, five years old. Mom would have it on so I watched sometimes."  
  
"Right." Ryan grinned.  
  
Seth opened his mouth to ask what TV shows Ryan had liked as a little kid when suddenly a deep, reverberating bark came from the vacant lot on his right. Seth turned to see a big, black dog tearing across the weedy grass toward them. There was no chain to check the animal and no fence between it and the boys.  
  
Maybe they could've faced the dog and let it sniff their hands and diffused the situation, but dressed in nothing but towels, with no heavy jeans to protect their legs, they weren't feeling too confident. Seth dropped his soda can and ran after Ryan.  
  
They raced down the sidewalk, the dog chasing behind. Ryan suddenly veered to the left, crossing the road, and vaulted over a chest high chain link fence that surrounded a group of storage units.  
  
"Oh shit," Seth cried, as he attempted to follow. He clambered awkwardly up the fence with the dog growling and snapping right behind him, perched for a second at the top, then dropped on the other side. He heard tearing fabric and felt a tug at his waist as he jumped down. The dog slammed into the chain link behind him. Seth turned to see its body balanced on hind legs as it pawed the fence and barked furiously at him through the mesh. Seth looked up to see his towel caught on a jagged bit of chain link at the top. The dog leaped and grabbed the trailing end of it. Soon the dog had the towel between his massive jaws and was shaking it back and forth as slobber flew from its mouth. Seth was safe but naked again on his side of the fence.  
  
Ryan came up beside him and the boys watched as the dog destroyed Shrek, tearing his happy green face apart.  
  
"That could've been my ass!" Seth said. "Could one more thing possibly go wrong today?"  
  
"Don't even say that," Ryan begged.  
  
"Maybe we could get into one of these storage units and find something for me to wear," Seth mused, turning to look at the long, low buildings with their firmly locked doors.  
  
"I don't think so. Besides, the last thing we need is to get picked up for B & E." Ryan pointed out the security cameras set at regular intervals. "We should keep moving."  
  
They walked down the fence line and their dog friend didn't follow being much too engrossed in demolishing his new toy. Ryan paused at a small, jagged hole in the fence where bent wire protruded. He removed the towel from his waist and tore at it with the wire until he'd created a hole, and then ripped the terrycloth into two roughly equal pieces. He handed one to Seth.  
  
"Thanks." Seth said gratefully, wrapping his new mini-skirt sized loincloth around his hips.  
  
They walked on. A block away they climbed the fence again and landed back on the sidewalk. Seth was very careful heaving himself over the chain link this time.  
  
There were more stores on the street now but after their first experience they were hesitant to enter any of them. As they hesitated in the parking lot in front of a gas station, a red convertible with a pair of girls pulled up to the pump.  
  
A redhead with her hair swept back in a ponytail got out of the driver's seat and began gassing up the car. The girl in the passenger seat jumped out and headed toward the store. She had short, spiky black hair, a lemon yellow bikini top and cutoff jeans. As she passed Ryan and Seth, who were casually examining the ice machine as if they'd never seen one before, she stared at them openly.  
  
Seth gave her a wobbly smile and she nodded before disappearing into the store.  
  
"Why didn't you ask if she had a cell phone?" Ryan demanded, poking Seth in the arm.  
  
"Why didn't you?" he retorted.  
  
"Okay, this is ridiculous." Ryan asserted. "Let's just go ask the girl at the pump." He headed toward her and Seth followed.  
  
Her back was to them and she didn't see them approach. She was leaning against the side of her car watching the numbers go up on the pump and mumbling to herself, "Fucking oil companies!"  
  
"Um, excuse me," Ryan interrupted her rant.  
  
She jumped and turned to face them.  
  
"We, uh, my friend and I had a little trouble earlier and we...."  
  
"Wondered if you had a phone we could borrow?" Seth completed.  
  
"We need to call home," Ryan added.  
  
"Because our clothes got stolen on the beach along with our cell and wallets and car keys and everything."  
  
"That's terrible!" the ponytail girl exclaimed. "You guys are so burnt! You must have been walking for hours. Wouldn't anyone help you?"  
  
"It's kind of a long story, actually," Seth explained.  
  
"Complicated," Ryan supplied.  
  
"I don't have my phone with me. It's recharging. But Jen does. She'll be back out here in a minute." She took in their derelict, sweaty demeanor. "You guys must be thirsty as hell. You want something to drink?"  
  
"You're a savior!" Seth enthused, clasping his hands together. "We'd grovel at your feet for a bottle of water. We'd...."  
  
"That'd be great," Ryan interrupted.  
  
"Hang on. I've got some stuff in the cooler." Ponytail Girl bent over the door to the back seat and fished around in a red and white Playmate, pulling out two bottles of water and a couple of snack size bags of Combos. She handed them to Ryan and Seth, who instantly uncapped the water bottles and emptied them in several long, thirsty swallows.  
  
As the girl finished filling her car and paid at the pump, her friend Jen exited the store and came over to join them.  
  
"Hey," she said, raising a questioning eyebrow at the two bedraggled boys.  
  
"Jen, they need to borrow your phone. They got stranded at the beach."  
  
"Stranded?" Jen asked curiously, looking at the brief, ragged towels the boys wore.  
  
"Clothes stolen," Seth said succinctly between bites of Combo.  
  
"Ouch!" She laughed and reached into her bag for her phone then handed it to Ryan, who thanked her politely, offering a small smile. He punched in Sandy's number but then passed the phone on to Seth.  
  
"So," Jen said, assessingly, "you, uh, don't have any swim trunks on under there do you?"  
  
"Jen!" her friend exclaimed in embarrassment.  
  
"What? I bet they don't. Do you?"  
  
Ryan shrugged and shuffled his feet a little. "We were hiking a long way and we were hot and there wasn't anybody around so... uh, no. They took everything."  
  
Jen grinned broadly.  
  
"Okay," Seth interrupted. "Dad's not answering his cell or his office phone. And he's not at home either. He's probably in court. Mom's in L.A. today. And we're screwed."  
  
"What about Summer or Marissa?"  
  
"As far as I'm concerned, Summer's never finding out about this. Ever! The humiliation factor would be ginormous. She'd never let me live this down. If you want to call Marissa, go ahead but I wouldn't recommend it, mostly because she won't be able to stop herself from telling Summer and then the whole vicious teasing begins and...."  
  
"Well, we have to call somebody," Ryan snapped. "How about a taxi."  
  
"We can give you a ride home!" Jen interrupted. "Can't we Lexie?"  
  
Her friend only paused a moment before nodding. "Sure."  
  
"Would you?" Seth practically jumped up and down like a happy puppy. "You're both saints. Seriously, you should be canonized. You don't know what this day has been like. If you've ever seen 'Survivor', it's like that only with enforced marching for, like, twenty miles and, thankfully, no bug-eating as yet. We'll be so grateful. If there's ever anything we can do..."  
  
"We'll pay you for the gas," Ryan interrupted Seth's enthusing.  
  
"Where do you live?" Lexie asked, looking slightly nervous.  
  
"Newport Beach," they chimed in unison, then exchanged an embarrassed glance.  
  
"Well, that's not too far." She sounded relieved. "And don't worry about the gas."  
  
"All right then. Hop in," Jen encouraged, gesturing to the back seat.  
  
"We're not exactly in hopping condition," Seth said, indicating his towel. "Maybe a slow and careful climb would be more appropriate."  
  
Jen opened the front car door and pulled the seat up to permit entrance to the back seat. Ryan got into the car, but before Seth could join him, Jen swung into the back next to Ryan.  
  
Ryan shot a wide-eyed look at her then at Seth, who raised his eyebrows, shrugged then slipped into the shotgun seat.  
  
"So what are your names?" Lexie asked as she started the car.  
  
"I'm Seth and he's Ryan. And I just want to tell you again how much we appreciate this."  
  
"No problem. I had a flat once and somebody helped me. I'm glad to pay it forward," she said with a little smile.  
  
"Where do you guys go to school?" Jen asked.  
  
"Harbor," Seth answered.  
  
"High school," she confirmed. "So you're, what, juniors? Seniors?"  
  
"Juniors next year," Seth replied.  
  
"Seventeen?" Jen guessed.  
  
"Yep."  
  
"You don't talk much do you?"  
  
Seth thought she was teasing him at first then realized the question was directed at Ryan, who, as usual, shrugged.  
  
"That's one nasty burn you've got," Jen continued.  
  
Seth looked back to see her running a hand down Ryan's arm while he looked at her from the corners of his eyes.  
  
"I've got some aloe cream both of you should put on," Lexie offered. "Jen, it's in my bag. Do you want to get it out for them?"  
  
"That's okay. We'll take care of it when we get home," Ryan said, but Jen had already fished the tube of ointment out of the bag and was unscrewing the lid.  
  
"This stuff really works. You won't even know you've been burned by tomorrow," she said, squeezing a generous dollop on her hand and starting to rub it into Ryan's skin.  
  
Seth wanted to giggle at the look on Ryan's face but he suppressed it. He noticed with amusement that Ryan didn't argue or pull away.  
  
"Turn your back this way and I'll get it," Jen commanded.  
  
Seth glanced toward Lexie, who was watching the pair in her rearview mirror and rolling her eyes at her friend's shameless flirting.  
  
"So, where do you go to school?" Seth asked her.  
  
"I just finished my freshman year at Berkley and Jen at U.S.C. We're back home for the summer."  
  
College girls. College girls willing to flirt with high school boys, Seth amended as he glanced back to see Jen massaging aloe across Ryan's shoulders and back. It would have been a wet dream come true and Seth would have appreciated it if he weren't so miserably tired, hungry and sore.  
  
"Could I have some of that?" he asked plaintively. Jen tossed the tube over the seat and it landed on his lap. "Thanks," he muttered, noting that she didn't offer to smear the lotion on HIS back. He quickly applied aloe to his arms, chest, legs and as much of his shoulders as he could reach. Then he settled back in his seat.  
  
The rest of the trip passed in the blink of an eye as Seth immediately fell sound asleep and didn't wake until they were pulling into the driveway of his house. Ryan must have given directions and conversation had taken place but Seth missed all of it.  
  
"Hey," Lexie's ponytail twitched over one shoulder as she turned and smiled at Seth, "you're finally awake." She nodded her head toward the Cohen home. "Nice place."  
  
"Oh, uh, thanks," he answered. "Do you ... do you want to come in?"  
  
Lexie glanced in the rearview at Jen. "Naw. We have to be getting back, but thanks for asking. Besides, it looks like you guys need to crash for about twenty-four hours."  
  
Seth craned his neck around to check on Ryan. He was in his corner of the seat eating another bag of Combos and Jen was no longer touching him, not so much as leg to leg contact. Seth wondered if he had missed anything interesting by falling asleep. He'd have to ask Ryan later.  
  
The boys got out of the car and said 'goodbye' and 'thanks' several more times to their rescuers. Lexie smiled and Jen winked and waved as she resumed her place in the front seat and shut the car door. Then the red convertible drove away.  
  
Neither of the parental Cohens was home yet according to the lack of vehicles in the driveway.  
  
"God, I've never been so happy to be home in my life." Seth threw back his head and groaned. "Hey, let's jump in the pool and cool off before we go in and shower."  
  
"Sounds good," Ryan agreed.  
  
They circled the side of the house and fell into the refreshing water. Entering the clear, non-salt water of the infinity pool was like being baptized. The temporary terry loincloths were removed and thrown with a wet splat-splat on the cement, and the boys reveled in their naked bodies floating and drifting weightlessly.  
  
After a few moments, Ryan swam for the ladder and began to climb out, dripping. "Hey, Seth, we should probably get out of the sun before...."  
  
He was interrupted by the pool house door opening and emitting Summer followed by Marissa.  
  
"I thought I heard you guys," Summer started, then stopped short at the sight of Ryan's naked parts. "Holy crap!"  
  
Marissa bumped into Summer's back as she too registered the fact that both of the boys were nude. "What the... What?"  
  
"What the hell?" Summer completed her thought.  
  
"Oh," Ryan answered, then his mouth hung open and nothing else came out. He was frozen on the top step of the ladder, staring back at them.  
  
Seth bobbed in the water like a rubber duck with wet, curly hair. "What are you doing here?"  
  
"We were, uh, waiting for you to get back," Marissa said, pointing behind her to the pool house. "Playing, um, Game Boy. We were going to ask if you wanted to go ... out to dinner." She tried to keep her wide eyes on Ryan's face but they kept slipping south.  
  
Seth tossed back his hair from his eyes and paddled harder to keep afloat. "Well, Marissa, generally we would love to escort you ladies out but at the moment, as you can see, we're not appropriately attired."  
  
"Cohen, what the hell are you doing?" Summer demanded. "And you," she addressed Ryan, "for god's sake go put some pants on!"  
  
Ryan nodded and hurried past the girls toward the pool house. Marissa politely averted her eyes but Summer stared at him as he passed.  
  
"We were.... We had some trouble. Seth will explain," Ryan muttered as he trotted by, hands covering his crotch. Both girls rotated like satellites to watch his rear disappear into the pool house.  
  
"Oh, you bet he will," Summer said, turning back to face her boyfriend in the pool.  
  
"Summer, don't even start," Seth said in his most manly voice. "You're lucky we're both even here and not dead. Here's the story: Long hike. Short swim. Stolen clothes. No way home. I'll explain everything after I've gotten cleaned up and had a rest, and you're just going to have to wait."  
  
He thought Summer secretly kind of liked it when he took charge and didn't cower before her for a change. At any rate, she backed off for once.  
  
"Fine," she agreed, folding her arms. "Go ahead then. Get out."  
  
"Now?"  
  
"Yes, now. I want to see that you're still all in one piece."  
  
"My pieces are intact," he responded.  
  
"Then you won't mind showing them to me," she mocked. And he recognized that devilish light in her eyes that told him she was really enjoying this. All right. He'd give her a show then.  
  
Seth swam to the ladder.  
  
"Um, maybe I should go wait in the car, Sum," Marissa said, but then made no move to go.  
  
He climbed out of the pool and stood dripping on the pavement. "All good?" he asked, mischievously.  
  
Summer pursed her lips and examined him from head to toe. "It'll do," she sniffed.  
  
"I think I'll just go rinse my eyes with bleach now," Marissa muttered to herself, her eyes shifting away and then back to Seth's nether regions.  
  
"Okay, ladies, au revoire," Seth said with a little salute then turned and sauntered unashamedly into the house. He swore he could feel their eyes burning into his back the whole way but he shut the door behind him without turning around. Then he hurried to the window and listened to find out what the girls would say.  
  
"All right. That was just surreal," Marissa said.  
  
"Actually, it's kind of like a dream I had," Summer mused, "except you weren't in it ... and some other, uh ... different stuff happened."  
  
There was a long pause before Summer continued, "Never mind. I think I was remembering something else. Hey, I'm starving. Let's go eat."  
  
"Sure," Marissa replied, and Seth heard their heels clicking away across the patio.  
  
Seth grabbed a coat from the hall closet and put it on before going out to the pool house and knocking on the door. "Ryan?"  
  
"C'min," he heard a muffled voice. He opened the door to find his friend face down on his bed, face buried in the pillow, still naked. "Wha'?"  
  
"The girls are gone."  
  
"Good."  
  
"I told them the quick version and said we'd fill in the details later."  
  
"Good."  
  
"So are you going to sleep for a while or come in and get something to eat?"  
  
"Sleep."  
  
"Okay. See you later then."  
  
"Mmph."  
  
"Hey, Ryan?"  
  
"Hm?"  
  
"It was an adventure, eh? We sure know how to make memories."  
  
"Shut up, Seth."  
  
"Okay, going now. Goodbye." Seth backed out of the room. smiling as Ryan fake snored to deter any further conversation.  
  
He heard a grunted, "bye," before he closed the door behind him.  
  
The End  
  
All right, I admit the credibility of this plot is stretched as thin as silly putty. But I wanted the boys to have naked adventures and to be denied help at every turn like Mary and Joseph in Bethlehem. So, logic be damned, I hope you enjoyed. 


End file.
